I'm still alive!

This has been a busy year, and a tiring one. I'm not sure I can remember a single day of a week, excluding the weekeends, when I've not been tired. I can probably count them on my fingers. Working in a manufacture sucks really bad.

I guess the main reason I've not updated this journal in almost a year is the fact that indeed, in almost a year, I've not made any substantial progress on my third book. At this time last year, I was working 8-12 hours a week in a grocery store, so I had all the time I wanted to write, not to mention the motivation. From April last year to this very moment, I've worked each week 40 hours a week, waking at 5:45am and coming home at 4:30pm, and though I've realized that even though I thought I could not survive a month of that, it's been almost a year now, and despite the fact that I've done it, I hate it. There's no point to that life. Sleep, boring work, sleep, boring work, sleep, boring work, sleep, boring work, sleep, boring work, then two days to sleep a bit more before the next week. Repeat until death, either of overwork or overboredom.

I. AM. NOT. A. SLAVE.

Better death than that kind of life.

I need another work, and I have all my time to find it, so no worries there, only a temporary state of suckness, I guess.

Now to talk about art. I am almost sure at the moment that I will not finish my third book. I don't even care about the story anymore, nor about the characters, the world it's in, even the setting it's in.

However, its not the end at all if my soul can have a say in the matter. With the death of something comes the creation of another.

I will create my own world for once, instead of using another one's creation and twisting it to my standards. No more Starfox. No more Krystal. No more Corneria. No more Lylat. No more planet Earth even. No more taking ideas from Forgotten Realms or Tolkien. For example, all Do'Urdens, all the gods of the pantheon except Azura, Argolth the traitor which is just a stupid rename of Morgoth the Black Foe, and Utumno, his fortress of the North, even Feanor. The instances are just too many to cite them all.

I want a creation of my own, a world where I am the master. Of course all artists use ideas of other artists, and I will allow myself that freedom. But every character there, every location, every but of lore and history, will be my creation, my property.

And thus the story will start with my first character I ever created, Matthiew Wolfstrife. I am still shaping the basics, but let's just say that he will be the main character, along with a female one which I have not yet pictured in my mind.

-

It's getting late, and I still have a lot I could say. I will keep it for another time, tomorrow maybe? I don't think so, I'll be back from work, and the only thing on my mind will be to go on the comp and play Fallout 3 or ARMA, and talk to Kate if she's there, and then go sleep, to continue the circle...

~Wolfstrife